Tuesday, December 09, 2014

I run because my mind's playing tricks on me...

The night descends. But, sleep doesn't come. My mind turns.

Questions bubble to the surface. Doubts invade. Loose ends drown me.

I try to filter them out. I do my best to ignore them. I struggle to keep afloat.

Tossing and turning, the wheels keep rolling. My mind becomes a runaway train. Uncontrolled, it picks up speed.

A vision of chaos coalesces. Everything's falling apart. Nothing's within my control.

I sit up with a start sweating. I take a deep breath and hold it. I stand up and let it out.

My shorts are on the floor. My shirt hangs on the door. My shoes are at the foot of the bed.

I pull the shorts on. The shirt comes next. I double knot my laces and take a step.

The vision is less clear, but it is still there. I know it's not real, but my mind's not right. My imagination runs roughshod at night.  

I open the door. Only the stars are out. They spectate in silence.

The cold air rouses my lungs. The bite in the air pushes me back into a state of quasi-lucidity. The legs start to turn over.

Air comes in and out. A rhythm emerges. I try to control the only thing I can.

I don't know where I'm going. I don't know how long it will last. The unknown lies before me.

I tackle it head on. I run into it. It's scary.

It's not as scary as the vision my mind conjured. The details of the vision start to fade as the sweat emerges from my pores. The wheels slow down.

There isn't much I can control. Things will fall apart. Chaos will intrude.

But, not all is beyond my control. What the imagination conjures rarely becomes reality. The train glides into the station gracefully and grinds to a halt.

I run because my mind's playing tricks on me...

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