Wednesday, October 22, 2014

I run because there is little I can control...

We live on a rock flying through space. Innumerable celestial objects hurtle through the solar system threatening to collide with us. I lie awake at night with these ideas rattling around in my head.

Volcanoes erupt. Earthquakes level. Tsunamis destroy. Sweet dreams are not made of this.

People make mistakes. Poor decisions are made. Bad things happen. It's a wonder anyone sleeps at night.

We do our best to establish order and control amidst chaos. We adhere to a regular schedule. We go to work. We do our job. We come home.

This routine soothes. It also deceives. It lends credence to the idea that we have control. But, we're neck deep in chaos.

This chaos manifests itself in innumerable ways. Still we ardently plug the dam with our fingers. We futilely attempt to prevent the floodgates from opening.

The chaos can overwhelm. My head spins with the infinite number of things that are beyond me. Life can feel like a runaway freight train from hell.

It's easy to get derailed. I find myself on the verge sometimes. The fears, doubts, questions, and anxieties swirl.

Not all hope is lost. There is one thing I can control. I need to remind myself of this. Running provides the reminder.

I'm in the driver's seat. I am the master and commander when I run. I am in complete control. Speed, distance, and destination are all within my hands.

The world spins. The wind howls. Torrential rain falls. But, none of these things can stop me. None of them can control me. 

A few controlled strides calms. The churning maelstrom of chaos that passes for life becomes less threatening. It becomes less foreboding.

I put distance between myself and the chaos. These miles are all mine. The thoughts that lead to sleepless nights fade away.

A few rhythmic breaths stabilizes. I will be the eye of the storm. Chaos can rage all around me. But, I will keep it together.

I will control the only thing the one thing I can. It's not much, but it's enough. I will control me.

I run because there is little I can control.

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