Monday, September 22, 2014

I run because I don't know what to say..

I'm flummoxed. I'm tongue tied. Words fail me.

Maybe the challenge is the person I'm giving the message. Will they understand it? Will they receive it the right way? Will I deliver it the right way to them?

Getting the thoughts to crystallize might be the problem. They bounce around like socks tumbling in a dryer. Nothing coalesces. Nothing comes together.

Maybe it's just a bad message. If you're lucky, you never have to deliver this kind of message. But, there aren't many who don't eventually get the unfortunate task of delivering a bad message.

I find myself in a quagmire. Unable to figure a way out, I remain silent. The thoughts fight to come out, but the lips resist.

I find a few words. It's barely a fragment of a sentence. My lips nearly open.

Then, it all falls apart. The nascent beginnings of something lucid, something coherent fades away into the ether. I'm left mute again.

Maybe I simply need a change of scenery. They say a change of scenery is therapeutic. Maybe it will serve to loosen my tongue

In lieu of a better idea, I take flight. Where I find what I need is anyone's guess. My destination is unknown.

Nor is it known if this will serve to help me find the words I seek. The feet turn over in rhythm with the wheels turning in my head. The thoughts continue to tumble like socks, but it is now a slower tumble.

The ground rolls by beneath me. The fragments of coherent thought become less fragmentary. A few of the words I need make an appearance.

My breath enters and exits steadily, rhythmically. The words start to come a bit more readily. A few half baked thoughts are spawned.

Sweat emerges. Along with this sweat comes the stringing together of a few coherent thoughts. My lips purse as I rehearse delivering the message.

I've run headlong into the wall and survived. I've spent time in the pain cave and came out unscathed. Finding what to say is not impossible.

I run because I don't know what to say...

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