Wednesday, August 20, 2014

I run because I am wild...

It wasn't that long ago that we lived in caves. We were hunters and gatherers. It was a tough, harsh, unpredictable existence that was devoid of many of the things we take for granted today.

The modern cave usually comes equipped with climate control, a washer, a dryer, a dishwasher, and countless other amenities. Entertainment comes not from storytelling, but from an electronic screen of some kind.

Hunting and gathering is largely outsourced. Few of us hunt or gather our food anymore. Hunting done today is largely for sport rather than necessity. Modern gathering usually entails a trip to the grocery store.

Most of us spend at least eight hours a day 'working' at one occupation or another indoors. We sit at desks or cubes largely interacting with a keyboard and a monitor.

Once we lived wild. Now we are civilized, domesticated, and evolved. But, for some of us, this life may not be the answer.

I suspected something was awry the very first day I spent sitting at a cube in an office. I felt anxious. I felt uncomfortable. There was something about this existence that just felt off to me.

The absence of fresh air was disconcerting. There was little natural light to speak of. I itched to escape the confines of my cube almost as soon as I entered it. I looked for any and every opportunity to liberate myself from this setting that felt odd and unnatural to me.

I yearned for the day to end so I could free myself of this stifling environment if only for a few hours. Fresh air, natural light, and the wild beckoned to me. At the end of the day,  I was freed from the civilized world temporarily. I'd run wild and uncaged.

I wondered how people managed to work at a desk or cube for months, years, or decades. Perhaps I was the missing link. Maybe I was just simply not domesticated in the same way everyone else seemed to be.

I could barely tolerate a full day. I vowed one day to run away from the cube. I wasn't sure how I would do it, but I would find a way.

Many miles and years later, I would run away from the cube for good. I became a small business owner and in effect, a hunter. I was always looking for my next meal.

I sometimes stalked my prey for days, weeks, and months. I didn't always succeed, but each kill was glorious. Each meal was a feast.
Nearly ten years later, this cube free existence is tough, harsh, and unpredictable. But, it is an existence that is true to who I really am.

Maybe I am the missing link. I don't know that I will ever be domesticated. I run because I am wild..

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